Dave TheDruid-3X3Awens to All:
Nimue just posted an update on her condition:
I wasn’t sure if I’d be equal to a post today. Yesterday involved laser surgery and cataract surgery under sedation and I had no idea how the sedatives would affect me. Today I find I am very tired and a bit sore, which isn’t too bad. There is more surgery yet to come.
I’m coping pretty well with the medical side of the interventions, I’ll spare you the gory details. What I’m struggling with are more personal panic triggers that can’t be avoided in the context of doing the treatment, hence the sedatives. The medical team taking care of me have been brilliant about this. They’ve listened to what I struggle with, and have not asked me to explain why. That of itself is really helpful. About the worst thing you can do for someone with a trauma history is make them revisit it. I have suffered a lot in the past with prolonged and violent panic attacks. Obviously, when people are trying to do surgery to your eyes, flailing about with a panic attack is not an option. The sedatives were really helpful. It’s comforting to know that I have options. Being listened to is of itself really powerful.
While I was in the operating room, struggling with the things that panic me, I had a clear sense that the medical team around me were my allies in dealing with all of that. They were kind, distracting and compassionate, which makes worlds of difference. In many ways, the best cure for panic is kindness, although the drugs really help. I’ve learned a lot from this about my own scope for asking for help, and just how different things can be when I am believed and supported.
I feel less fearful about the prospect of future operations because of that kindness, and my confidence that I can expect to be supported.
3X3