Good evening Startree.
That’s very courageous of you to be so open and frank.
This is a difficult question. I suppose, the “druid way” would be to be “one” with the pain or sense of loss, in the sense of not trying to repress it or pretend it doesn’t exist, but rather to acknowledge it and work through things. A wise man once said to me that drowning your sorrows never works because your sorrows quickly learn how to swim and you just end up with a bad headache anyway. Getting things down on paper, writing poems, songs or prose, painting or providing a creative outlet for this form of “energy” can also be therapeutic and can turn a negative into something beautiful and positive. Some of the greatest Celtic poetry and song is heartrendingly sad and you can feel that the authors were going through something genuine and yet, at the same time, they created something timeless and beautiful, too. Of course, you should always seek professional advice or help – especially if it’s really bad or runs too deep and it’s affecting your ability to function normally and have normal relationships with the world around you.
Personally, I think our modern society puts so much pressure on us to be positive and happy all the time, wearing fake smiles, that we’ve lost the ability to deal with genuine sadness and acknowledge it – there’s nothing to be ashamed of and it’s not wrong to feel this way, the important thing is not to let it take control of you, if you know what I mean?
I’m sorry to read of your suffering, but I’m heartened to read that you’ve found a way to deal with things that works for you.